The Last of the Dog Team

William W. Johnstone said that of all his many, many writings, The Last of the Dog Team was his proudest work. This is yet more proof that his ability to judge what made a “good” book was lacking. As if the dozens and dozens of terrible slop on paper wasn’t enough evidence.

Anyway, The Last of the Dog Team is about Terry Kovak, a poor boy turned supercommando. Or rather, it’s mostly about his, uh, “love life”. See, he has the magic power of making women want him desperately. If he really was a secret agent, he’d be perfect for Romeo Gambits. The plot, such as it is, is of a violent lunatic (ie, Kovak) killing people in his hometown, in Southeast Asia, and in Africa before returning to a reluctant retirement and then dying of natural causes.

The prose is bad and erratic even by Johnstone’s standards, veering between Exclamation Points!, long syrupy purple prose, and lines like “He felt drained-which he was. He felt sick”. And yet the key factor is its pretentiousness. It’s clear that Johnstone wanted to write some sweeping epic saga of a man’s life yet had simply no idea how to do so without throwing in another sex or killing scene. This sort of overreach (much of the Ashes series is a redneck convinced he’s Larry Bond) is something WWJ had and many other bottom-feeder thrillers (including the later “William W. Johnstone’s” did not.

Since this was an early book of his, I could forgive Johnstone if he got better. He didn’t.