Review: Downfall of a Revolutionary

Trotsky: Downfall of a Revolutionary

The book Trotsky: The Downfall of a Revolutionary is an excellent account of his final years in Mexico. Seeing the man increasingly decline physically and (arguably) in terms of influence just as much, it’s hard to avoid the impression that Stalin would have been better off letting him fade away instead of unleashing the mountain climbers axe (not an ice pick). Bertrand M. Patenaude tells a story full of tragedy, cruelty, and absurdity in equal measure.

We see the soap opera romance with Frida Kahlo, playing with fire given that her husband was the person most responsible for letting him into Mexico in the first place. Trotsky gets stir crazy being cooped up in an ever more restrictive lair. He gets involved in disputes with western communists who make it clear where Life of Brian got the idea.

The last part is where the book shines historically. Even the most sympathetic accounts of Trotsky have to come to terms with two facts. 1: He was not a liberal person (better than Stalin in that regard is like being better than the 2008 Detroit Lions), and any talk of greater social democracy came after his downfall for selfish reasons. 2: Trotsky was not a good politician and his downfall was near-inevitable because of that.

This is a very good history book that would be great for a movie adaptation ie The Death of Stalin.

A Thousand Words: Death Battle

Everyone since the invention of fiction has wondered “who would win in a fight between ________ and __________ “? For over 15 years and 3 management changes, a web animation series called Death Battle has attempted to ‘answer’ just that. The characters are introduced, quantified, and then an animation plays depicting the fight. The outcome is then explained.

While vs. debaters online can take themselves way too seriously, Death Battle does not. Besides the good and growing quality of the animations, the best part is that the showrunners view it as entertainment and not a “how many Saiyans can dance on the head of a pin” philosophical argument.

If I had to list one current weakness of Death Battle, it’s becoming a victim of its own success. Because it’s gone through most of the obvious pop culture clashes, they either have to do fanservice-y repeats or increasingly obscure characters. The quantification has also gone from “Blastoise’s Hydro Pump is the equivalent of an industrial water cutter in terms of PSI” to a physics lecture. That said, even 2-3 weeks I look forward to seeing each episode.

A Thousand Words: Pokemon Crystal

With Pokemon Day almost upon us, it’s time to look at the second third installment of Pokemon. Starting with Yellow, Pokemon began releasing a third version of each generation’s game up until Gen 4, at which point it turned into intra-gen sequels and then DLC. But I digress.

Anyway, Crystal has the first female playable protagonist and many other additions, from beautiful animated sprites (not seen again until Gen 5), and the first Battle Tower (a neutralized level location with high risks and reward). It still has the same strengths (large world, very dynamic feel) and weaknesses (terrible level scaling) as the rest of Gen II.

By this time the GBC was old hat and Gen 3 on more powerful hardware awaited. But that’s another story…

A Thousand Words: Backyard Wrestling

Of no relation to the Backyard Sports baseball/soccer/etc… games, Backyard Wrestling: Don’t Try This At Home, and its sequel There Goes The Neighborhood is the distilled nadir of human culture in the most vile time of mankind’s cultural output: The early-mid 2000s. (Don’t argue this with me, I grew up then).

It’s a video game that awkwardly tries to shift traditional wrestling games, Tekken-style 3D fighters, and Smash Bros style “environmental fighters”. All while doing none of it very well and reeking of nu-metal. This is a time capsule. A very very bad time capsule.

Review: Hitler’s Miracle Weapons, Vol. 1

Hitler’s Miracle Weapons, Volume 1

I had to get a book that claimed the exact opposite of what every other serious piece of scholarship on the German nuclear weapons program said (it was not even close to making a bomb). So I read Hitler’s Miracle Weapons. The art and models are very nice and if this was an acknowledged alternate history, I’d have little but praise for the book.

Unfortunately, the book makes tons of leaps of faith (to put it mildly) and makes the claims that:

  • Germany had built and tested nuclear warheads but didn’t use them for “reasons” even though it intended to
  • Said warheads ranged from small suitcase nukes to 20 megaton monsters
  • The American nuclear bombs were taken at least partially from German technology.

It does provide a lot of sources, but they feel circular. Moreover, it simply moves on with absolute confidence to the next wunderbomb, speaking as if it was an acknowledged fact that Germany had an arsenal more diverse than a postwar nuclear power. This is a kooky book, but it’s the detailed kind of kooky book. Make of that what you will.

The A Button Challenge

Mario was originally known as “Jumpman” in the first releases of Donkey Kong. Super Mario Bros. defined the platformer. What I’m trying to say is that Mario jumps. Until now.

For 20+ years, an array of gamers dug deep into the code of Super Mario 64 to see in how few A presses (jumping) they could beat the game. Last year, a successful run with zero presses was finally accomplished.

Numerous stars and even entire levels had to be skipped entirely as they required jumping. The centerpiece that enabled the final “A”-less run to be performed involved playing on Wii Virtual Console and using an emulator/porting glitch that had platforms in the Bowser in the Fire Sea stage moving sloooooowly upwards over time. The game had to be run for three real-time days to let them get into place.

Yet in the greatest human accomplishment since the moon landing, the A Button Challenge was finally completed.

Console Pokemon Returns

With the release and controversy of Pokemon Legends ZA, it’s time to once again return to the Console Pokemon fantasy that was popped for good in Sword/Shield.

What is “Console Pokemon”? It’s something us 90s/00s kids had in our minds as we moved pocket monsters around our pocket gameboys. Basically, without severe hardware limitations, a Pokemon that would burst out into a paradigm shifting masterpiece.

Was this naive gamer fantasy? Probably. But it was something that had indeed happened with Mario 64 and Ocarina of Time (or GTA III, or Halo, or Final Fantasy VII…) We kept getting hints-a Snap here, a Stadium or Colosseum there. And then the 3DS (probably the first real big “Console Game”) and finally the Switch gave us… unoptimized 3d games with similar mechanics that looked worse than ones twenty years prior.

Of course, now I know that rather than being made by a mega-publisher as its flagship title, it’s actually developed by small Game Freak, whose lack of programming chops was evident in some ways from the get-go. Now I know that the business model is basically that of a yearly sports game, being critic proof in that regard. Now I know that with the franchise so lucrative, the games themselves matter as much as Half Life currently does to Valve.

So yeah, Console Pokemon isn’t coming.

A Thousand Words: The Simpsons Wrestling

The Simpsons Wrestling

Simpsons games have a reputation for a few hits (Hit and Run, the original arcade game) and a lot of misses. One of those is The Simpsons Wrestling, one of the last Playstation 1 games released. By this point, a lot of wrestling games had been made. A lot of 3d and 2d fighting games for it had been made. A lot of Simpsons games were just low-quality knockoffs of the big popular genres, from skateboarding to platforming.

This is at least interestingly bad. It’s a 3d fighting game whose only actual “wrestling” is a pin incorporated in the final knockout. The characters are laughably imbalanced, and the action is unhinged (and not in a good way). Simpsons characters with crude early 3D models pinball around the wrestling ring. Yet the worst thing is the moveset. You have only three attacks, something that Street Fighter 1 had more than twice of.

But if “it’s interestingly bad” is the best one can say about this, then… it’s bad.

A Thousand Words: Aqua Teen Hunger Force

Aqua Teen Hunger Force

Now Aqua Teen Hunger Force is the most misunderstood show on television. See, most people perceived it as a crude, absurdist, and surreal Adult Swim animation that made South Park look highbrow and subtle. A place featuring the strange happenings of straight man (or straight hovering box of french fries with a beard) Frylock, delightfully immature meatball Meatwad, and idiotic troublemaking drinking cup Master Shake. And their human neighbor Carl.

No. They have it all wrong. Aqua Teen Hunger Force is actually a nature documentary showing viewers the hidden, wondrous and fearsome at the same time place known as New Jersey. People don’t get it, but they just don’t get that this is what Jersey is like.

Seriously, it’s great for what it sets out to do.

Review: Star Wars Incredible Cross Sections

Star Wars: Incredible Cross Sections

In the late 1990s and early 2000s, as the Star Wars prequels and their merchandise machine rolled into action, an interesting reference book series emerged. This was Dorling Kindersley’s Incredible Cross Sections. I remembered (and loved) similar books as a child showing real things ranging from Boeing 747s to T-34/85 tanks to old age of sail warships. So the art is beautifully done, even if there are issues like the Millennium Falcon being impossible to square totally with its interior and exterior differences.

So these are beautiful books. Unfortunately, the later ones were marred by a controversial author, Curtis Saxton. Saxton’s story is a nerd’s dream come true: An astrophysicist and Star Wars fan who became the writer of a site called the Star Wars Technical Commentaries. Getting to write official material would have been something.

There were two main issues with Saxton. The first is that he was a maximalist who tried to squish the incredibly soft space fantasy of Star Wars into a Stephen Baxterian hard plausible mold. Yes he gives technically accurate numbers for a galactic scale civilization-but it just doesn’t mesh with the actual movies. The second was his fixation on the “Endor Holocaust” (no really he used the exact name) where the debris from the Death Star would have wiped out the Ewok species. Imagine if a Star Trek fan was absolutely adamant that transporters were ‘destructive teleportation’ (ie killing/destroying the original subject and making a copy on the other side). (Ironically the Warhammer 40k fandom has a section like this in the opposite direction, where every Imperial Guardsman is a special forces equivalent elite soldier and most of the human population lives on advanced peaceful civilized worlds).

So not for the first or last time, it was someone plopping their fanfiction into “canon” in a way that didn’t quite fit. But at least the pictures were and are incredible.