A Thousand Words: Eco Fighters

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Eco Fighters

Capcom decided to make an arcade “shmup” with an environmentalist science fiction theme. The result was Eco Fighters, a very well made game with one massive flaw. And no, the massive flaw was not the environmental theme. The massive flaw has to do with how you aim.

See you control a spaceship that has a rotating arm/turret. It sounds good, but in practice it’s a gimmick that’s hard to work and control. This and the fact that you’ll often unavoidably run into a weapon change that you don’t want (which gets rid of something you do) sours it a little.

But only a little. It’s still a good side scrolling spaceship shooter, and the graphics and music are typically excellent for the time period. It just tried something distinct and fell short in that regard.

1000 Posts

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Fuldapocalypse has reached a thousand posts in five years. It’s quite the milestone. After Fuldapocalypse, I’ve gotten three full-length and two short novels self-published, and the broadening of my literary horizons has played no small part in that. After all, my SLP Smithtown books are based on the “men’s adventure” cheap thrillers I first saw with the Survivalist, and The Sure Bet King was inspired by the structure of Sidney Sheldon novels-both of which I didn’t get until after the blog started.

The funny thing is that none of them are conventional WW3s. Oh sure, I have the Soviet-Romanian War in All Union, but that’s far closer to the Gulf War than an even Fuldapocalypse. Kind of funny, when it comes down to it.

I’ll be honest, though. I’ve long had this idea kicking around in my brain, just as how I had a Soviet-Romanian War kicking around in my brain. And this does involve a conventional WW3-kinda. It’s more like a conventional World War III interrupted by someone else, hence why I’ve given it the working title Party Crashers. You may note the similarity to Turtledove’s WorldWar, which I’ll admit to being inspired by-and a lot of other things, of course.

But yeah, I may just crash the 198X Fulda Gap Party with some extradimensional invaders…

Review: Black Seas

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Black Seas

TK Blackwood’s 199X Fuldapocalypse (or should I say Yugoslavpocalypse) continues in Black Seas. Not surprisingly given the title, it centers around the biggest missile age naval battle ever. The centerpiece is an alternate history classic: The nuclear Ulyanovsk-class carrier (I’m still debating whether to have them be in All Union or not, btw…)

That alone makes it a guilty pleasure for me (I’m definitely including the slightly similar Kherson-class “Ivan Tarawa” large landing ships in that universe, btw…). It’s certainly able to juggle a ton of plot elements as well as any other successful technothriller. Plus it has an Iowa-Kirov showdown! (A sadly realistic Iowa-Kirov showdown, which is all I’ll say about it, but still)

So yeah, this is a worthy successor to the past entries in the series and a fun WW3 naval showdown in its own right. I highly recommend this.

Review: USS Stonewall Jackson

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USS Stonewall Jackson

The book USS Stonewall Jackson is about a submarine with that name as it battles the North Koreans. Leaving aside issues with the name (which was real ), it’s also a new-build American diesel submarine. (For those rivet-counters, it’s based on the new Soryu-class).

This is basically a run of the mill technothriller, only shortened. Actually, it feels like a minimum viable technothriller, where the plot elements of such a book are stuffed into as small a space as possible (in this case only over slightly a hundred pages). This makes the technothrillery-parts that do take up pages (I’m talking rivet counts, because of course) all the more jarring.

This book basically stands as an example of why you actually need “filler”. While it may seem to be (and often is) unproductive padding, without any of it you get a distorted work like this.

A Thousand Words: King Kong 1976

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King Kong 1976

The 1976 remake of King Kong is often regarded as a horribly dated piece of 1970s kitsch that pales in comparison to the classic 1933 original. And that is completely accurate. But what’s interesting is how, given that the plot structure is more or less the same.

First off, there’s the human cast. Jeff Bridges, who is just about as hairy as King Kong in the film, is the stereotypical Post-Nixon Rebellious Academic, who of course is completely right and accurate. There’s Charles Grodin as the evil human villain, and he does a good job. Finally, there’s Jessica Lange whose performance has to be judge by the fact that her character “Dwan” (real spelling) has to work with a script and direction that Thalia and Melpomene themselves couldn’t do well.

But for the real star of the show, it’s very weird. The various props depicting Kong himself are done as well as could reasonably be for the time period. However, the movie fails completely (and I mean completely ) at effectively integrating them. Enjoy hours of clunky green screen that’s terrible even by the standards of the time! Watch as the dinosaur fight is replaced with a “struggle” against a snake prop! Marvel at the giant gas pump in the finale!

Now while the overall plot is the same, this is a lot more obviously contrived than the original. It’s an oil expedition that, after not finding oil on Kong Island, grabs the ape as a consolation prize. Lange’s character is shipwrecked separately and rescued by the oil ship.

All this adds up to-a horribly dated piece of 1970s kitsch that pales in comparison to the original.

Elvis Presto

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It’s no secret that Super Bowl halftime shows prior to Michael Jackson’s historic 1993 one were rightfully regarded as throwaway novelty acts. But one in particular stands out for its “questionable” judgement. That would be 1989’s Elvis Presto.

Now there wasn’t a successful Elvis impersonator thirteen years after the death of the real one known as “Elvis Presto” already. Nor was it someone famous already doing an Elvis impression. No, this was just an Elvis impersonator doing silly magic tricks and music. Ok, that’s still in the ballpark of what old halftime shows were like, except for the small problem of that, save for one snippet of Burning Love…

NONE OF THE SONGS HE SANG WERE ACTUAL ELVIS PRESLEY ONES

It’s like “why?” It’s not like he was known as the “king of rock and roll”? I’m sure they could, with difficulty, find fifteen minutes of worthy Elvis songs to play. I mean, he was one of those artists who didn’t really record much mater-oh wait.

Yeah, there’s a reason why halftime shows are now filled with star power.

Review: After The Downfall

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After The Downfall

Harry Turtledove’s 2008 After The Downfall is not an alternate history per se. Rather it is an example of the dreaded “isekai” that started with Mark Twain’s A Connecticut Yankee In King Arthur’s Court. A German soldier gets warped from the Battle of Berlin to a fantasy world and then stuff happens. A lot of stuff. A lot of predictable stuff.

This is not one of Turtledove’s better books. Take a ridiculously obvious and unsubtle plot/message, writing that can’t make up for it, and one of the fastest intro-to-sex-scene ratios I’ve ever read. And the “payoff” of that isn’t worth it, trust me.

The best I can say about this is that it’s a sincere attempt at something different and not a series installment stretched out over a long time to get more money. But that doesn’t make the actual book any better.

Review: Freezing Cold Takes

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Freezing Cold Takes: Football Media’s Most Inaccurate Predictions and the Fascinating Stories Behind Them

With both the college and pro football seasons having started, it’s time to look at Fred Segal’s Freezing Cold Takes, a compilation of football media predictions that ended up being extremely wrong as well as the context surrounding them. It’s not the deepest book, but it’s certainly deeper than the fired-off hot takes concerning sports that long predate the internet.

As a fun bit of NFL history, this book is worth a read. You’ll laugh and you just might learn something. While it shouldn’t be the last word, its good as a first one.