Tag: Review

A Thousand Words: Death Battle

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Everyone since the invention of fiction has wondered “who would win in a fight between ________ and __________ “? For over 15 years and 3 management changes, a web animation series called Death Battle has attempted to ‘answer’ just that. The characters are introduced, quantified, and then an animation plays depicting the fight. The outcome is then explained.

While vs. debaters online can take themselves way too seriously, Death Battle does not. Besides the good and growing quality of the animations, the best part is that the showrunners view it as entertainment and not a “how many Saiyans can dance on the head of a pin” philosophical argument.

If I had to list one current weakness of Death Battle, it’s becoming a victim of its own success. Because it’s gone through most of the obvious pop culture clashes, they either have to do fanservice-y repeats or increasingly obscure characters. The quantification has also gone from “Blastoise’s Hydro Pump is the equivalent of an industrial water cutter in terms of PSI” to a physics lecture. That said, even 2-3 weeks I look forward to seeing each episode.

Review: She’ll Never Get Off The Ground

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She’ll Never Get Off The Ground

Robert Serling’s (yes, the brother of the Twilight Zone guy), was a guy who loved to write about airplanes. In 1971 he wrote probably the most 1971 novel possible, She’ll Never Get Off The Ground. It stars aspiring commercial pilot Dudney Devlin (yes, that name) as she tries to… GOSH, become a “WOMAN AIRLINE PILOT ?!” (save for the capitalization, the punctuation is exactly the same as it is on the cover ?!)

If Devlin was male, this would be a generic 1970s cheap thriller with “I know the designation of the wheel assembly” technical padding. If this was written and published even ten years later, it would be viewed as an anachronistic dinosaur. The International Society of Women Airline Pilots formed in 1978, and while still extremely rare then, the concept was not as inconceivable as it was in the “Mad Men Polyester Housewife Era”.

So this book could only be written and made at a very specific time, and the reasons for that were not good.

A Thousand Words: Nitro Ball

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Nitro Ball

Nitro Ball is a 1992 Data East arcade game based on Midway’s legendary Smash TV, keeping the same basic gameplay and “game show of death” style. While a lot of their games are “we have ____ at home” in terms of quality (to the point where one brought about lawsuits ), this builds on the formula instead of copying it. The “Ball” in the title refers to pinball stages where the contestant can indulge his inner Sonic the Hedgehog, rolling around for bonus points.

The game looks great for the time and starts off in the self proclaimed “Strange Football Field”, full of garish NFL Americana and an amazing music track. Sadly the rest of the game’s style doesn’t match that great start, but it is still a fun and overlooked gem.

Review: Fireworks

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Fireworks

Legendary gun instructor and writer Jeff Cooper wrote (or rather complied, as most he had published before) Fireworks in the late 1970s. Cooper politically was the kind of person who made Jesse Helms seem like a hippie, but the more interesting part is that he was one of the most pretentious writers ever to write. The sympathetic version is that if you’re actually teaching pistol shooting, you have to be very to the point, so writing gave him a chance to stretch his mental legs.

The not so sympathetic version is that Cooper was a perfect example of the kind of person who thinks he is far more intelligent and profound than he actually is. Combine this with being very easily impressed and you have a cross between Hemingway at his worst and your uncle who’s enthralled by this thing called “television”.

This book is entertaining, albeit likely not in the way its author intended.

A Thousand Words: Pokemon Crystal

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With Pokemon Day almost upon us, it’s time to look at the second third installment of Pokemon. Starting with Yellow, Pokemon began releasing a third version of each generation’s game up until Gen 4, at which point it turned into intra-gen sequels and then DLC. But I digress.

Anyway, Crystal has the first female playable protagonist and many other additions, from beautiful animated sprites (not seen again until Gen 5), and the first Battle Tower (a neutralized level location with high risks and reward). It still has the same strengths (large world, very dynamic feel) and weaknesses (terrible level scaling) as the rest of Gen II.

By this time the GBC was old hat and Gen 3 on more powerful hardware awaited. But that’s another story…

Review: T-10 Heavy Tank

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T-10 Heavy Tank

Stephen Sewell’s deep dive into one of the Cold War’s most enigmatic tracked cryptids was a book I knew I had to get. I was not disappointed. Now you have to be interested in tanks to read a very long book about a tank that was only deployed in anger once (the Prague Spring). Thankfully, I’m very interested in tanks.

What makes this fascinating besides the detail is how it represents the end of the road for specialized “heavy” tanks. Yes, MBTs grew to outweigh the heavy tanks, but we see the unified end to one intentional design path taken as far as it went, with quirks like how the T-10 had a heavy instead of medium machine gun for a coax.

I love tanks. I love obscure tanks. So it’s no surprise I love this book.

A Thousand Words: Friday The 13th Part 5

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Friday The 13th Part 5

Friday The 13th Part 5 is a very strange horror movie mixed amidst the conventional genre-making slashers that proceeded and followed it. See, Jason Voorhees had died in the previous film, subtitled “The Final Chapter.” So this was subbed “A New Beginning” and it tried to keep him dead.

The movie takes place at a group home for troubled youth, one of whom, a loser named Joey Burns is murdered by an especially troubled youth. This makes Joey’s father Roy, a paramedic, snap and become a Jason copycat, cementing his ‘fame’ as the Dimitri Medvedev of horror movies.

As far as the actual film itself goes, it’s a delightful mess. The director only knew “DO THE THING” so there’s one scene of murder or sleaze (or both of course) at a very fast pace. It’s not very technically good, but you probably weren’t expecting Citizen Kane from the 5th installment of a horror franchise anyway.

A Thousand Words: Death By Lightning

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Death By Lightning

The Netflix historical drama Death by Lightning is a four-part look at the presidency of James Garfield. An obscure piece of national history that’s even referenced in the intro when workers nearly a hundred years later find Charles Guiteau’s brain and don’t know who it was, this depiction is an excellent melodramatic epic.

First off, there are numerous inaccuracies and dramatic exaggerations here. One must adhere to the maxim of Death of Stalin director Armando Iannuci: “It’s not a documentary”. That said, the characters judged in their own right are largely excellent. Largely. Garfield himself is a shallow, too-good plaster saint and his wife Lucretia is a little anachronistic “serious woman played by serious actress”, although in her case it’s made up for by one spectacular scene in the finale. Everyone else from brutish Chester A. Arthur to Clay Davis before Clay Davis Roscoe Conkling to, especially, Guiteau himself is wonderful. (Guiteau’s actor played a supervillain in a past role and it showed).

The series is very smooth flowing, and although most of the time it’s a madcap retelling of events, there’s some possibly unintended depth. Arthur’s recognition of himself as an underqualified person who fell upwards into power is a yin-yang contrast from Guiteau’s insane belief of himself as a transcendental genius. It doesn’t hurt that antagonists Conkling and Guiteau both fall into one of my favorite character archetypes: Schemers who are a lot less intelligent than they think they are.

So yes, don’t expect much realism, but this is an amazing show.

Review: The Untold Story of China’s Nuclear Weapons Development and Testing

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The Untold Story of China’s Nuclear Weapons Development and Testing

This book with a very long name is a very good look at the often-underlooked Chinese nuclear weapons program. It’s a scientific chronicle of all its tests from the initial blast in 1964 to the latest known ones in the 1990s. And it’s very good. Without getting too technical and being willing to admit what he doesn’t know, author Hui Zhang sheds a lot of light on the secretive program.

Some of it I knew, like a nightmare when a bomb being tested on a Q-5 (light ground attack aircraft) got stuck to the launch rail and wouldn’t drop. Others I didn’t, like a failed test not due to anything physics related, but simply because parachutes failed and the bomb broke against the ground before it could implode. Either way, it’s extremely detailed and effective.

It does have the nitpicky intra-academic arguments I see weirdly often in books about nuclear weapons, talking about how the Chinese have had the capability to miniaturize warheads more than other sources have claimed. Since Zhang’s claimed shrinking is not particularly unreasonable, it feels a little-strange. My reaction was “so what?”

This is ultimately still a small nitpick of a very good nonfiction book.

A Thousand Words: Backyard Wrestling

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Of no relation to the Backyard Sports baseball/soccer/etc… games, Backyard Wrestling: Don’t Try This At Home, and its sequel There Goes The Neighborhood is the distilled nadir of human culture in the most vile time of mankind’s cultural output: The early-mid 2000s. (Don’t argue this with me, I grew up then).

It’s a video game that awkwardly tries to shift traditional wrestling games, Tekken-style 3D fighters, and Smash Bros style “environmental fighters”. All while doing none of it very well and reeking of nu-metal. This is a time capsule. A very very bad time capsule.