Tag: Science Fiction

A Thousand Words: Red Ape Family

On By coilerxiiIn Review, A Thousand WordsLeave a comment

Red Ape Family

NFTs, or “Non-Fungible Tokens”, were one of the most shameless fads of all time. Unlike previous market bubbles like tulip bulbs or Death of Superman comic books, these offered no practical value. In fact, what they even are is hard to explain. The closest normal person equivalent is a receipt.

So normal cryptocurrencies are “fungible” in the sense that as long as they’re in circulation, one dollar bill is functionally the same as another. Non-fungible means distinct, like say, an explicit receipt. Why would you spend a million dollars on a receipt for a transaction of a picture of a badly drawn monkey? The answer is a combination of get-rich suckers and wash trading (despite the name, not directly money laundering).

But I digress. So Red Ape Family, about a family of bored red apes who steal a drive full of the most valuable NFTs and go to Mars, is…. to call it a toy commercial would be an insult to toy commercials. More like a get rich quick infomercial made by someone with no talent whose sense of humor was a single episode of later Family Guy.

The existence of this is more interesting than any of the “gags” itself.

A Thousand Words: Lex Imperialis

On By coilerxiiIn A Thousand Words, ReviewLeave a comment

The second major DLC for the Rogue Trader RPG, Lex Imperialis brings in the galactic police, the Arbites, as well as pets (ok, “familiars”). The pets are the most fun part of the DLC. But for some reason, I considered this worse than the previous one, Void Shadows. Not unplayable or not worth it, but not as good. Maybe it’s just I wasn’t the fondest of the ingame stuff, but I think the biggest reason is the plot.

Void Shadows centered around a horrific cosmic nightmare (genestealers). This centers around…. tax evasion. Everything involves an investigation for unpaid or stolen Imperial Tithes. I don’t mind lower-stakes stories, but this is just too mundane. It’s almost Postal 2-esque.

That said, many set pieces are good and the music is probably the best I’ve heard in the game.

Gor The Infamous

On By coilerxiiIn EssayLeave a comment

A while ago on Fuldapocalypse I reviewed the first, comparably sane (but only comparably) entry in the “legendary” Gor series, Tarnsman of Gor. Since then, it quickly devolved into what it became infamous for. Which is to say, a series devoted entirely to talking about how the natural, right, and proper order of things is for men to be masters and women to be slaves. And I mean this literally.

One might think that Gor would have a tiny fig leaf of sword and planet adventure to go into ‘slave sleaze’. While true, it also has a tiny fig leaf of ‘slave sleaze’ to go into talking in gargantuan walls of text repeatedly saying the exact same monologue repeatedly. So why has it become so infamous?

I think there’s a few reasons. The first is that it had a degree of mainstream (by sci-fi standards) exposure. More “importantly”, it had a small degree of mainstream pretentiousness. So in its heyday (and in a smaller book market), you had this thing that acted like heroic fantasy and wasn’t honest enough to admit on the cover that it was smut. And it rubbed a lot of people quite reasonably the wrong way.

Hyperfans

On By coilerxiiIn EssayLeave a comment

I just came up with an alternate aviation term. Hyperfan, referring to such gigantic bypass ratio-turbines as the NK-93 and Rolls Royce Contrafan. These so far never-were powerplants get amazing fuel efficiency-at the cost of basically everything else. Like complexity, size (that drag can’t be good), and other stuff I don’t know because I’m not an aeronautical engineer.

In real life these concepts get names like “shrouded propfans” which are very cumbersome and not very intuitive. Furthermore, there isn’t a consistent definition of them. Hyperfan is obvious and very smooth-flowing. It’s a hyper-powered fan engine to the layman, and that’s who names them.

Review: Star Wars Incredible Cross Sections

On By coilerxiiIn ReviewLeave a comment

Star Wars: Incredible Cross Sections

In the late 1990s and early 2000s, as the Star Wars prequels and their merchandise machine rolled into action, an interesting reference book series emerged. This was Dorling Kindersley’s Incredible Cross Sections. I remembered (and loved) similar books as a child showing real things ranging from Boeing 747s to T-34/85 tanks to old age of sail warships. So the art is beautifully done, even if there are issues like the Millennium Falcon being impossible to square totally with its interior and exterior differences.

So these are beautiful books. Unfortunately, the later ones were marred by a controversial author, Curtis Saxton. Saxton’s story is a nerd’s dream come true: An astrophysicist and Star Wars fan who became the writer of a site called the Star Wars Technical Commentaries. Getting to write official material would have been something.

There were two main issues with Saxton. The first is that he was a maximalist who tried to squish the incredibly soft space fantasy of Star Wars into a Stephen Baxterian hard plausible mold. Yes he gives technically accurate numbers for a galactic scale civilization-but it just doesn’t mesh with the actual movies. The second was his fixation on the “Endor Holocaust” (no really he used the exact name) where the debris from the Death Star would have wiped out the Ewok species. Imagine if a Star Trek fan was absolutely adamant that transporters were ‘destructive teleportation’ (ie killing/destroying the original subject and making a copy on the other side). (Ironically the Warhammer 40k fandom has a section like this in the opposite direction, where every Imperial Guardsman is a special forces equivalent elite soldier and most of the human population lives on advanced peaceful civilized worlds).

So not for the first or last time, it was someone plopping their fanfiction into “canon” in a way that didn’t quite fit. But at least the pictures were and are incredible.

A Thousand Words: Chains of Freedom

On By coilerxiiIn A Thousand Words, ReviewLeave a comment

Chains of Freedom

the XCOM-esque game Chains of Freedom is a new turn-based strategy game that I’ve just completed. It’s well, uh, something. So I wouldn’t have finished the game if it was bad , but man is there so much that drags it and keeps it from being what could have been. A lot of it.

The first issue is the story and setting. Do you want Brown Age throwback graphics of one Cyrillic wasteland after another? Do you want a plot and setting that’s what you’d get if you prompted an AI to go “Make me a science fiction setting based on Command and Conquer, S.T.A.L.K.E.R, Metro, and throw in a couple of general cliches for good measure”? Do you want characters who are either dull or who you’ll hate from the start?

Then there’s the gameplay. Probably the most distinct thing about it compared to other XCOM-likes is that you have to scrounge and craft for items between battles. This is one of those things that’s a lot better in theory than in practice. Other than that, it’s a pretty standard “cover turn based strategy.” Which is a problem when you get into the final act and the game throws monotonous giant swarm after monotonous giant swarm at you. As if to compensate, the last few encounters and the final boss are anticlimactically easy.

This is a 49% game. And as the last couple of Super Bowls have shown for the team that bears that name, close doesn’t let you win. (Hey, gotta drop a football reference on NFL Draft day!)

Review: The Shot That Kills You

On By coilerxiiIn ReviewLeave a comment

The Shot That Kills You

A short story centered around one of the most realistic and sensible Warhammer Astartes chapters, The Shot That Kills You is about the Raptors. As it’s short and explody, one shouldn’t expect it to be anything except short and explody. Which it succeeds massively at.

It’s good enough to wash away the internet cruft surrounding the Raptors, who are the poster child for what I like to call the “Gothic-style Halo” ‘fans’ of Warhammer 40k, where the setting is tried to be made respectable and its exaggerated elements downplayed in a manner that annoys me. Thankfully it’s not the case here-an Astartes seemingly flees and lures the overconfident xenos into a trap, not uplinking to his servo-skull drone and calling down a Whirlwind missile strike that obliterates the melee duelists.

A Thousand Words: Riding Fight

On By coilerxiiIn A Thousand Words, ReviewLeave a comment

Riding Fight

Taito’s Riding Fight is a very unique video game.

It tries to match Mode Seven Style “flat but three dimension” fast movement with brawling. While it doesn’t always succeed, I give it credit for trying, and the presentation and music are excellent. The plot involves superhero-mercs-whoever on hoverboards fighting evil, from Momar Gaddafi (yes the second boss is based on him) to Japanese mystic princesses. The final section involves saving “the young mistress of an important man”, which I really hope was a mistranslation. Otherwise it would be a unique twist on the “Save the princess” (what would his wife think?)

The novelty and ambition alone makes this game worth it.

A Thousand Words: Mach Rider

On By coilerxiiIn A Thousand Words, Review1 Comment

Mach Rider

Like many video games, Mach Rider was a minor hit for Nintendo in the mid-1980s and then languished forgotten until Smash Bros. revived it. The game is a pretty crude but impressive-for-the-time ride along a twisting track and dodge and destroy the evil giant tricycles until you eventually fail, but it has a couple of quirks.

The first is that it was one of the first games to have a level editor, even if it was only in Japan and very limited in practice there. The second is that it has a vague story (there’s minor justifications for you fighting back against an alien invasion in the various track missions) but no ending. The third and most interesting is that the titular rider has been alternately depicted as male and female (the former being in screens showing a helmeted but clearly male figure and the Smash Bros. Melee trophy using ‘he’ while the latter is a female biker in a piece of official art and a woman in the arcade version that’s implied to be a Mac Rider). I guess the different color riders are different people.

Of course, back in the day I remembered the Mach Rider theme as an alternate stage track in Smash Bros. that I loved and nothing else. Which can be said about a lot of things.